Why is our world so f*cked up?

This morning I brought my daughter to her bus. It was cold so we took the car and parked at the corner the bus gets her from. There was fog on the inside of the window, so she drew with her little finger some scribble. Then I used the wipers and she thought it was so cool she just had to try.

As her bus approached, most of the kids hopped out of their cars and crowded around to form a line to get on the bus. Every morning I give her a kiss on her head and tell her I love her, have a good day and ‘don’t run the bus isn’t going to leave you!’ As she runs to the bus door. The last thing I want is for her to trip running to the bus. She’s got two left feet sometimes.

As I stood there, a darkness crept up my back and took over my mind. I watched other parents hug and kiss their kids and send them off on the bus to school where we entrust a staff of people to keep our children safe. It hit me like a ton of bricks, what if this is the last time we get to hug them, kiss their little heads or the worst, the last time we get to say goodbye.

My daughter is 5 years old and in kindergarten. The absolute last thing that I should worry about is if someone if going to get into the school and hurt her. I’ve had nightmares that were so painful, I’m tearing up just thinking about all of this. I hate that I have to worry about this. My five-year-old, in this type of danger.

I do give it to her school, the security and procedures to enter the building they have in place does put me at ease… to a point. For all those that have been through this type of horrendous event, I cannot imagine the pain you must feel.